between two waves of the sea

An update

Thu, 04 May 2017 12:16:50 GMT

Originally published at snekblog. You can comment here or there.

The cat story ended happily – her people found her through a Facebook post and came to collect her. I was honestly kind of sad to give her back, she was such a sweet friendly baby. But apparently she was deaf and blind, and nineteen years old, and her family had been convinced that she was dead after she got out (not unreasonably, given her age and tendency to stand in the middle of roads), and they were so happy to see her again.

So fucking relieved I didn’t hand her over to that shelter.

In other somewhat unexpected news, I found out that I could get really cheap tickets to go see Bee for a little while, because the visa is taking forever to come through and we are both tired and sad and feeling exhausted and need to see each other. Except, oops, turns out the only time I can go is, uh, this week. And I know it’s kind of pathetic to be so completely thrown off by this – people go on visits and holidays and business meetings ALL THE TIME with very little notice – but dealing with a flight that I haven’t actually had, like, months/weeks to mentally prepare for, is kind of…. argh. Anxiety, everywhere. I’m gonna forget something vital or do something terrible or the plane is gonna fall out of the sky, I don’t know, but something is going to go catastrophically wrong, or so my brain insists.

… shut up, brain, nobody asked you. I’m going to go see my awesome partner and it’s going to be good and I actually kinda can’t wait.

comments

that was unexpected

Mon, 10 Apr 2017 05:05:01 GMT

Originally published at snekblog. You can comment here or there.

I went out for lunch with my mother yesterday. We went to a local cafe and I bought some yarn, we had a nice afternoon, everything was peaceful and the sun was shining and I felt really happy to be out of the house and doing something. And then we headed home, except as we were driving away from the cafe we saw a kitten crossing the road. But, not crossing, actually, just sort of standing there. A car was heading towards it, slowing down, but not quite stopping, and the cat wasn’t moving.

“I’m going to grab it,” I said. She stopped. I got out of the car and ran to pick up the kitten. I had meant to just carry it to safety on the other side of the road, but when I picked it up I realised that a) it wasn’t a kitten, just a tiny little skinny cat and b) it wasn’t very well. It was terrified, and confused, and didn’t seem to be able to see very well. We thought maybe a car had clipped it and left it stunned and maybe injured.

A few other people had stopped and gathered to see if the cat was okay. They knocked on a few doors nearby looking for an owner, but no luck. I said I’d take it to the vet, exchanged phone numbers with a few of them so they could get in touch if they found someone looking for a cat. I wrapped it in my cardigan and got back into my mum’s car. Did I mention that my mother is the most patient person in the world? She drove to the vet without a second thought.

Of course, we had both completely forgotten it was Sunday. The vet was closed.

We called the RSPCA. They came out, said they thought she was old and arthritic rather than injured, checked to see if she was chipped (no, and no collar either) and finally said they could do nothing for her except take her back to the shelter and see if someone either claimed or adopted her. Yeah, no. I know perfectly well what’s going to happen to a blind, elderly cat in a shelter and adoption is not it.

So now there’s a tiny blind cat sleeping on my sofa. She’s weirdly trusting, just sat on my lap most of the afternoon. Ate and drank like she hadn’t seen food or water in forever, which makes me wonder if she might have been lost for a few days. I’ve posted pictures of her on missing-pet sites, and tomorrow I’ll put up a flyer at the vet’s and ask if they’ve had any missing kitties reported. I hope, if she does have humans who are worrying and missing her, that I’ll be able to track them down; I know I’d be flipping my shit if one of my cats had got lost, especially an elderly disabled kitty.

I feel so weird about the whole thing, though. Two minutes earlier or later, I’d never have seen her; she might have been hit by the next car to come along, or wandered into a field and never been found. I hope she’s going to be okay, but even if she’s really on her last legs, at least she’s somewhere safe and warm and not wandering lost and alone into traffic, right?

comments

iiit’s ten to five in the morning and I just finished work.

Tue, 14 Mar 2017 04:54:32 GMT

Originally published at snekblog. You can comment here or there.

And tomorrow I get to get up and resume my other terrible job! Whee.

But for right now I am drinking 5am wine and playing 5am videogames because my brain is way too fucking wired to actually sleep. Contemplating a 5am bubble bath. That might be nice.

comments

this job is gonna break my heart

Thu, 29 Dec 2016 03:38:05 GMT

Originally published at snekblog. You can comment here or there.

A summary of like 90% of the calls I have received so far:

“My bf is trash. Will he spontaneously stop being trash and be nice to me?”

Which is kind of heartbreaking because I’m not really allowed to say “No, probably not. Dump the asswad and do something nice for yourself instead”.

comments

Mon, 26 Dec 2016 15:23:49 GMT

Originally published at snekblog. You can comment here or there.

So I guess my financial situation picked up a bit; I got a new job, at least, which is to say I’m now working on a tarot phone line.

I feel a bit unsure about this whole thing, because honestly, I am pretty damn sure I’m not psychic, and I’m fairly agnostic about whether tarot cards work at all. But, then again, I made sure not to say ‘oh, I’m totally psychic and can see into the future!’ in any way on my profile; it just says that I’m good at interpreting the cards (true) and I’m a good listener (true, I hope).

… which judging from my experience so far, is kind of what people are looking for anyway? Like, maybe it’s because I started on Christmas eve, but damn, I kind of want to hug every person who’s called me so far.

(also, I get like £10+ an hour doing this, which is so much better than the ~£3-4 I’ve been making with transcription lately. It’s emotionally exhausting as fuck, yeah, but it’s a lot less physically tiring.)

comments

Thu, 08 Dec 2016 14:05:44 GMT

Originally published at snekblog. You can comment here or there.

Ugh I’m so frustrated at the moment. I just… I need money. And I can’t get out of the house reliably enough to take a regular job (nobody wants an employee who calls in once a week saying she won’t be there because she dislocated her butt) and apparently everybody in the entire universe is scrambling over the five actual work-from-home jobs that exist. (Which, irrationally, I kinda resent. Leave the cripple jobs for the cripples, dammit!)

I had a fairly good thing going with the transcription stuff for a while, but it is just getting harder and harder to do. I don’t know if my hearing is going or if it’s just that I’m getting crappier files, but I can’t do it anywhere NEAR as fast as I used to, which means I can’t take anywhere near as much, which means my bank balance is worryingly empty.

And I just feel so stuck and trapped and I want a proper life, not one where I have to rely on other people all the time. I don’t know how I can do that, and god knows I will never get back on disability benefits after quitting them to start work, no matter how much ‘look, EDS is degenerative‘ evidence I wave around.

I’m tired.

Wake me up when we have fully automated luxury communism, please.

comments

ugh

Tue, 29 Nov 2016 13:28:24 GMT

Originally published at snekblog. You can comment here or there.

You know that thing where you’re just so tired, and you just don’t feel right, and whatever you try to do you don’t really have the attention span for it because you’re so fucking tired, and you can’t focus on even things you usually enjoy, so you’re desperately looking for something to do that’s both interesting enough to distract you from feeling shitty but somehow simple enough not to feel like any effort, but you can’t find this mythical Thing because it probably doesn’t exist?

Yeah, I’m having one of those days.

comments

Wed, 12 Oct 2016 20:05:56 GMT

Originally published at snekblog. You can comment here or there.

Ok, I still exist, I didn’t die in a horrible Toronto sushi accident. I went there, I came back, I brought my partner with me, having them living here is amazing, etc. I just find it hard to write when there is Real Life Stuff going on. And while the partner-related stuff is great, the rest of the Real Life Stuff is kinda shitty.

Which is kind of awkward really. Too much stuff happening: brain freezes up, can’t write. Not enough stuff: nothing to write about. But I want to keep posting here, if only to have some sort of record of stuff, even if only for me.

comments

sneks on a plane

Tue, 30 Aug 2016 06:51:31 GMT

Originally published at snekblog. You can comment here or there.

… ok, well, in a few hours i will be on a plane (for the first time in, uh, seven years?). tonight i am gonna eat sushi in toronto!

(I keep saying that to myself because then it sounds cool and awesome, as opposed to ‘but first i will spend eight hours squashed into a small seat trying not to panic’.)

and then a few hours after that I GET TO SEE MY PARTNER AGAIN and this is pretty much the best thing ever. just got a horribly long plane journey to get through and then PARTNER.

but i have packed crochet and downloaded books and tv shows and games and bought a weird fancy travel pillow that kinda wraps around the side of your head like a friendly facehugger so who knows, maybe this will be the miraculous thing that allows me to sleep sitting up finally?

so nervous. so excited.

comments

Fri, 26 Aug 2016 23:29:40 GMT

Originally published at snekblog. You can comment here or there.

things I did in starbound today: looted a cool dinosaur hat, hung out with a crab

comments

Fri, 26 Aug 2016 17:23:17 GMT

Originally published at snekblog. You can comment here or there.

I kinda love my little wordpress blog (and especially the name/url, like, how was that not taken) but I feel irrationally bad about just shitposting in it. Like I should be making long thoughtful posts instead of one-liners about Steven Universe. I have no idea why; nobody follows it who expects that afaik (in fact, nobody follows it at all except via tumblr and dw crossposts afaik), but… yeah. I should get over that, because I’m not sure I foresee any long thoughtfulness happening around here any time soon.

comments

Sun, 21 Aug 2016 00:20:48 GMT

Originally published at snekblog. You can comment here or there.

ok, so. tickets are FINALLY booked, and I’m going to see Morgue – and bring them back to the UK with me – in ten days. Holy shit. This is a thing. It’s happening. In real life.

… the journey there is going to take fourteen hours and involves a four-hour stop in Toronto, for bullshit reasons I am too tired to go into, but hey, I guess this means I will technically be able to say I’ve been to Canada. I will order poutine and find someone to speak bad French at.

now I just need to do laundry and pack and re-pack and download a million things to read/watch on the plane and try to convince myself that the plane will not suddenly stop working mid-way over the atlantic, I guess.

comments

Sun, 07 Aug 2016 08:43:09 GMT

Originally published at snekblog. You can comment here or there.

can’t sleep

built a tiny farm-and-base combo instead

comments

Sat, 06 Aug 2016 22:17:00 GMT

Originally published at snekblog. You can comment here or there.

So I bought Starbound.

Holy shit, what took me so long. I love it. I mean, it is very much Terraria! In! Space!, but I am basically obsessed with Terraria and lately I’d been all ‘hm, I mean, I love this game but I’m running out of things to do‘ in it so, tbh, Terraria with a million planets with procedurally-generated everything is basically everything I was looking for. (thank god, because the real world is not impressing me AT ALL this week.)

comments

Fri, 05 Aug 2016 13:34:11 GMT

Originally published at snekblog. You can comment here or there.

ok let’s try crossposting again

comments

Thu, 02 Jan 2014 13:32:08 GMT

I wonder if I should make a New Year's resolution. I like the idea of them, especially ones that are more about doing things and less about not-doing things (so like, 'I'm going to write that story that's been in my head for years' rather than 'I'm going to give up caffeine' or whatever).

But I can't really think of any, and also after the clusterfuck of awful that was 2011/2012 I feel like resolving anything more than 'idk, try to actually make it to 2015?" is just tempting fate. Actually, maybe even that is tempting fate.

Maybe I should just make a tiny, manageable resolution. Like finally getting to the end of Portal 2 or finishing that purple scarf I've been knitting for months or something.

Anyway, happy 2014, everyone.

comments

Fri, 13 Dec 2013 22:44:50 GMT

( medical crap )

comments

Sun, 17 Nov 2013 02:20:59 GMT

Finished my work AND caught up with my nano wordcount! Look at me actually achieving things, how does that even work.

Also can I count the 11k words I typed for work today towards my nano? Please?

comments

Mon, 11 Nov 2013 13:56:25 GMT

Okay, so I liked this name better.

comments